TWAS A VERY DISAPPOINTING DAY..

So I went in on Wednesday the 23rd early in the morning to have blood drawn for my pregnancy test and was soo relieved that the day was finally here..my stomach was in knots and was on my last nerve..but I didn't cheat before with an at home pregnancy test..I wanted to but thought why put myself through disappointment twice if it is negative..and I had waited soo long whats a couple of weeks. That day early afternoon I got the call from the nurse..finally..I was really heart broken to hear that I am possibly not pregnant. So my beta HCG levels, which is what the embryos give off once they've successfully implanted in the uterine wall, was 7 very very low...they consider an absolute negative when it is at 5 or below...;( ...she believes that it is a chemical pregnancy:

Definition 

A chemical pregnancy occurs when an embryo does not implant properly. The embryo produces enough HCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) to be detected on the beta HCG blood test and sensitive uterine pregnancy home tests, but because it does not develop normally, the pregnancy doe not occur.

Causes of a chemical pregnancy:

The commonest cause is a genetic abnormality in the embryo, and nature prevents this abnormal embryo from developing any further. Genetic abnormalities can be because of multiple factors, but most of them are random and unpredictable.

I was instructed to come in on Friday morning to test again to see which direction the levels are going..once they are below 5 then they can determine that the pregnancy will not occur. The nurse informed me that sometimes the levels start out low in a normal pregnancy but usually they see the levels at 20 or 30 to start not 7... I am on the lowest end... 

Whats next you say? Well we have one last chance at it..our IVF package covers one frozen embryo transfer...if the fresh IVF cycle was not successful...we have three frozen embryos that I am seriously considering having them all put in to increase our chances of at least one of them implanting successfully. Ideally I wanted those extra embryos for siblings but at this point I am hoping for at least one child to come out of this whole experience... I am not sure what my Dr. will say about putting all three in ..I am taking the chance for all three to implant..soo im very nervous about that... I don't know, at my age, if my body can handle being pregnant with triplets...that really scares me..I dont foresee us having the money to be able to transfer our last embryo that we will have left if I have only two put back...well decisions decisions..this is tough..for now I am going to worry about what is right in front of me..the 2nd pregnancy test on Friday...

EMBRYO TRANSFER

Ahh the day finally came...soo much work to get to this point...was excited...It was relatively painless just uncomfortable but painless..My mom and I were able to see the embryos in the dish through a microscope..pretty cool they were the two embryos that were 8cells each grades A & A- ...which are very good ..I was informed by the embryologist that out of the 31 eggs removed 16 were fertilized and only 5 were worthy of keeping..2 were put back into me and only 3 were frozen. Crazy! Incredible out of soo many eggs only 5 were good. That kinda made me sad..not sure why...

I am recovering nicely..not bad..I am feeling kinda beat up...exhausted..this whole process is soooo draining in every way! I am proud of myself that I endured through it and am here now at the end of the process...it was pretty rough no doubt. I am now only on Progesterone..if the embryos stick around it will help support the pregnancy...I gave up the shots because they were ridiculously painful..and opted for suppositories..a little messy but better for me...I don't have to depend on anyone anymore to administer the medicine...my mom is happy! lol...I am anxiously awaiting the day when we can confirm whether I am pregnant or not..Nov 23rd is the day...I have decided not to cheat before and avoid testing myself before the 23rd..it will be hard to stick to that..we shall she if I will do it or not...I am going to try to be patient and whatever the outcome will have to deal. 

Me ready in my hospital gown waiting for the nurse to come back..:)

 My mom all suited up ready to go..lol..

This video is not very good footage(sorry) but you can hear some of what is being said...the room was fairly dark so my Mom had trouble getting a good picture...on the ultrasound screen too its hard to see what is going on on there..... I was really close to it and barely was able to tell or see the catheter when it went up into my cervix or the tube that went in with the embryos and when the Dr. dropped them into my cervix.....darn! oh well!

This video is when we were all done..I was soo afraid of moving too much cause i was afraid that they would fall out...you can see when everyone laughs that's when I said it..lol...

HOW MANY EGGS??

Soo finally Egg Retrieval came and went and I survived! I am still in a bit of pain and walking slowly and it hurts if I move a lot or cough.. Today though I feel that the swelling has come down a bit..Omg I was soo nervous that morning... soo anticipating that day..everyone that was there to take care of me though were wonderful..soo attentive and nice. It really helped me to relax some.

 I checked in at 8:15 and was prepped ..I went in at 9:30am they walked me in to the "surgery" room and my first impression of the bed was of a torture device..it had a place for your arms to rest outstretched with cuffs that strapped your arms tight to them...the place where they put your legs looked very uncomfortable..it looked like your legs are propped up high and spread out...man! Well good thing that shortly after they laid me down they let go of the anesthesia and I just started to feel relaxed and dizzy..and whoop fell asleep quickly..soo didnt really get a chance to freak out...lol...

The procedure I understand took like 20 min..very quickly in an out..there were two other couples there too having an egg retrieval and a frozen embryo transfer so my doctor was busy that morning...the recovery/prep rooms were divided by curtains soo you can hear everything they said..I learned that the couple that had done IVF and were there for their retrieval only were able to produce 4 eggs...I felt sad that they only had 4 of them...but they still have a chance with four! I wish them the best and hope that they are successful :)...Me on the other hand had a crazy basket full of eggs! I had 31 eggs removed..wow! that is a lot I think that is why I feel soo sore and in pain still because since I had soo many they did a lot more poking around and soo my insides are really beat up...I really hope that I feel myself again come Saturday for my embryo transfer...Cause right now I cant handle any more poking around in there.

Yay finally got the call today from the embryologist and she informed me that we have 16 embryos! 11 fertilized normally by my hubby's sperm (good job little guys!) and 5 done with ICSI (Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI): A test-tube fertilization procedure in which a sperm is injected directly into an egg to achieve fertilization. ICSI is done for male infertility. Babies conceived by ICSI have no more major birth defects or delays in development than children conceived by natural means)...my doctor suggested this after my husband had a semen analysis during our preliminary testing and we discovered that he had borderline low motility (in other words Lazy Sperm) ..so my Dr. thought that we should have this available in case the sperm, at the time of egg retrieval, dont look like they will be able to fertilize the eggs...she wasn't too worried about the sperm fertilizing the eggs because I had already gotten pregnant twice..she felt that it could have been the reason why it took me soo long to get pregnant those two times.. she advised us to at least use it on some of the eggs..just in case...but lo and behold! they did their job after all! they fertilized 11 eggs!..Awesome! For me now its about taking it easy and recovering from the egg retrieval..I want to be ready and strong to welcome our little bundles into my womb on Sat.. ;) I will post again and let you know how the transfer went..ciao!

BOY THAT IS A LOT OF EGGS IN MY BASKET!

Retrieval is upon us...ahhh I am pretty nervous...this past weekend I had back to back blood tests and ultrasounds...man it was hard to get through that..they scheduled me to come in soo early! Since I started the Follicle stimulating hormones I have had blood draws and ultrasounds almost every day for the past week and a half..grueling! My veins hurt and are somewhat bruised...I feel soo mentally exhausted and now am feeling it on my body..well we are moving along nicely regardless of how im feeling..lol..I am soo grateful to have gotten this far in one piece and with minimal side effects... I am exhausted but I am going to fight through it because I have to finish this... :) We still have to get through the HCG shot in the butt, the Retrieval and Egg Transfer...My schedule has been and will be as follows until end of my  IVF cycle:

11/05/11 - Blood Draw & Ultrasound 

Estrogen Levels 2714

Left ovary follicle count:

17 big follicles(bunch of little ones too small to really count them all)

Right ovary follicle count:

12 big follicles (bunch of little ones)

Was instructed to reduce the Follistim to 200 units &  Lupron 5 units

11/06/11 - Blood Draw & Ultrasound

Estrogen levels 4186

Double the amount of Follicles from Saturday (that is a lot of eggs! the Dr. said that women usually only produce and ovulate one egg a menstrual cycle normally..crazy!)

Reduced Follistim to 150units/Lupron 5units (LAST DAY of poking my belly!!)

11/07/11 - Blood Draw & Ultrasound

Estrogen levels 5628

Day of HCG shot in the butt scheduled it for 10:30pm (ahhh!)

11/8/11 - Have to get another blood test done...the nurse informed me today that the sample I gave them on Nov 1st (which was going to be to test estrogen levels and something else) had clotted and wasn't any good for the second test....(nothing to do with my blood but it was just somehow damaged and could not be used)...I guess they were able to get the estrogen level test done but not the other one..ugh!!! really?? I was hoping to have two days rest from blood draws until my Retrieval but I guess not! sheesh..seriously..im soo tired of those blood draws..well my veins are for sure.. and they couldn't of gotten the blood from today's draw? God give me strength ! :( 

11/09/11 - Egg Retrieval Day! scheduled for 9:30am..soo nervous for this day!!

11/10/11 - Start on the Progesterone sesame oil

11/12/11 - Day 3 Embryo Transfer 

11/16/11 - Post-operative visit at 11:20am

11/23/11 - Test to confirm pregnancy!!

Crazy schedule right? phew!

ALMOST TIME FOR THE HEN TO BE HARVESTED..

Oh my goodness! we are close to retrieval time! I went in on the 27th for my pre-stimulating blood test (to monitor my Estrogen levels) and ultrasound (to check follicle growth and count)..I was on my 11th day of Lupron injections (10units) by then..a long 11 days! Since my visit on the 27th my schedule of office visits went as follows:

Oct 27th: Pre-stimulation ultrasound and blood test.. Estrogen level was at 10 (nice and low) and was instructed to reduce Lupron to 5units and add the Follistim (225units) & Menopur(75units) injections. My Dr. found no cysts on my ovaries phew! that was great news!

Oct 31st: Blood test to check Estrogen levels..they were at 210..good.. instructed to continue with same dosage of all three meds

Nov 1st: Blood test and ultrasound...estrogen levels were at 385..progress!..Dr. found my follicles still too small to count...instructed to continue with same dosage of all three meds.

Nov 3rd: Blood test and ultrasound..estrogen levels jumped to 1176..yikes!..Dr. said that the follicles were growing nicely...was intructed to stop using the Menopur and only take the Follistim and Lupron...

I forgot to ask the Dr. how big the follicles were at that point...I had a bit of an emotional moment when he finished...I started crying...ahhh embarrassing! I guess I had one too many blood draws and trans vaginal ultrasounds at that point...I had been trying to be strong and I just lost it a bit.....I guess I was extra sensitive today more than other days...oh well they understand how it is I suppose..us girls undergoing IVF cycles are soo pumped up with hormones and we have people coming at us from all directions wanting to poke and prod you that its expected for some to loose it at times..after all we are only human...

I am soo aware of my ovaries right now..they feel big..and my belly is swollen...Its pretty uncomfortable when I try to bend forward or when I am sitting..im glad to be off the Menopur the needle seems like it was thicker than the other two and it hurt like a mother!...Cant wait till I have to get the HCG and Progeterone shots...ack!...Saturday I have another blood test and ultrasound and I understand that at that time they mayb be telling me when they are going to want to schedule the Retrieval...soo it can happen anytime next week. I am feeling excited and nervous of course to be at the tail end of this process...it took some doing but I got to this point and am proud that I toughed it out (so far ;)..still got a little ways to go but almost done...

I tried to find some funny IVF humor on google to share but really only found these few which I thought were funny and/or cute...