FET DAY!

Ok so I am 1 day post my FET and feel good overall physically... All went better than expected...this time my husband was able to come with me and experience the procedure. The days leading up to the transfer day I managed to keep my cool and feel relaxed and not be nervous..day of the transfer, however, I started feeling a knot in my stomach as we headed out towards the clinic...I just couldn't control my nerves any longer..lol..I started thinking the worst and was no longer able to suppress the crazy worry wart tendencies in me...my first and foremost worry was that the embryos were not going to survive the thawing..that we were going to get there and they were going to say "sorry your embryos didn't survive the thawing and you have no more embryos" ahhh but alas! They did and they survived and did better than expected during the thaw process with all their original cells in tact...Dr. said that it was as if they had never been frozen and we were doing  a fresh cycle transfer..crazy!...at this point I was able to finally exhale..soo relieved ...the Dr. was pretty anxious about giving us the good news that a few minutes after we arrived he came around and told us ahead of the embryologist (which she was scheduled to come by before starting the procedure lol)...he said that it is unusual that the embryos thawed out without losing any of its cells...he was very pleased about the outcome... An embryo is said to have survived the thaw process if at least half of its cells are alive. Our little embies were frozen as 8 and 6 cell embryos and came through without loosing any of their cells! Ahh what little troopers they are! Way to go little guys! I'd like to think that its a sign that they are pretty strong embryos and that the probability of them becoming babies is high ..but yeah I don't want to go there I don't want to kid myself.. I really hope these two decide to stick around this time around ;)..I really wish we were allowed to take a picture of them in the petrie dish but couldn't ... we were able to take a peek in the microscope and see them ... I would of liked to have shared how amazing they looked  :D...is it weird that I could of stared at them for hours?

 Ok here I am waiting for my procedure to begin..I managed a smile even though my bladder was almost full enough to be painful..yes they require you to have a full bladder for the procedure..and yes they do an abdominal ultrasound where they press fairly hard and you feel every minute of it :/...phew!....lol...picture is not very flattering .. wish I could of have fixed myself up a bit...unfortunately I was allowed to only take a shower with soap and water..no make up, lotions, powders, hair products..etc.. (notice i cut my hair first pic of it since I cut it a few weeks ago.. lol) You cant really appreciate it here cause its not fixed..:(..

My Hubby here..ready to go in his suit..i think he was embarrassed to have that thing on...lol

I'm pretty anxious now for "pregnancy test day" of course... March 8th I go in to check my Beta HCG levels..ahh hoping for high levels. I will not try to cheat and test at home...ahh it will be hard but I know I can do it.. ..These couple weeks will be long. One day post transfer and my mind is already racing with all sorts of crazy thoughts. I've been on bed rest for the past two days and all day Monday I have been searching and looking at videos on the implantation process..trying to figure out how long it takes an embryo to implant once they have been transferred...I like those that are in 3D animation very cool...thank you iPad for making online browsing and video watching possible in bed :D...till next time..I will be anxiously awaiting my pregnancy test. ahhhh! :)

WE ARE SCHEDULED FOR SUNDAY!

Ok lots has happened since my last post..we are soo close to my transfer now..im getting anxious! I finally got my period about 4 days late on Feb 8th. I started testing for my LH surge(ovulation) on the 18th I was worried about missing it but alas I did not! yay.. I tested positive on Tuesday 21st in the evening..it really helped to have used more than one test at a time cause I tell you sometimes I just wasnt sure whether it was telling me that it was positive or negative.. I used the Answer & Clearblue easy brand ovulation kits..Monday the 20th , prior to testing positive, I had an Ultrasound to determine approximately when I was going to ovulate...My right ovary showed one follicle(egg) was already at 17mm big! and that my uterine lining was starting to thicken. They were right on when they told me that I probably will ovulate on the 21st or 22nd..crazy how accurate the drs are ;) You know with this process it is amazing to be able to get to see, from an internal point of view, my body preparing itself for pregnancy..rather than just guessing ....and how it does it soo well and naturally without the help of meds ;)..first round it was all forced with the meds so that didnt really count lol...I think its kinda neat to me to see  ;)...

So after I tested positive for my LH surge I alerted the Clinic and was scheduled for another Ultrasound on Thursday 23rd to confirm whether I had indeed ovulated. The ultrasound showed that I had indeed ovulated and that my uterine lining was pretty thick..they like to see it about at least 7mm thick and mine was 12mm soo we are more than good ;) Dr. was very pleased with what she saw. She determined that she would schedule me for the transfer on Sunday the 26th. They started me on the Methylpred 4 pills a day for 4 days (it makes me feel a little bit yucky, which could be worse so im ok with feeling a little bit yucky..lol) and had me come in on Friday for a Progesterone level blood test..it needs to be greater than 3 and mine was at 10.4..really good. They, however, still want me to take more progesterone twice a day until intructed to stop...as a safety net..hopefully I wont have to take that for too long...they are taken as a suppository so they can be messy...and can make you feel icky too.

Soo now we just wait..for my transfer on Sunday, I check in at 9:55am and the procedure is scheduled to start at 10:40am...I pray that we are succesfull this time around. Although a bit anxious, I do feel this time around I am more relaxed less hormonal and wound up..that is good....definitely significantly less stressful this time around ;) Aracely

ONE LAST TRY...

Ahhh after a nice month off from thinking about anything pertaining to getting pregnant I am rearing to go and ready to subject myself to one last try. I am ready for my FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). I went in to my initial consultation with my fertility Dr. Jan 9th and we just talked a little bit about the process. She said it will be a much kinder process than IVF for sure. I have two preliminary blood tests only, for Toxoplasmosis(i requested this one) and an Antibody Screen (this one is to make sure i have not developed a resistance to the embryos where my immune system would attack them)thats if I understood the dr correctly lol. Medication I will have only two meds I will have to take...Progesterone & Methylprednisolone.


The FET can be done with medication or with my natural cycle..thankfully my cycles are normal and I ovulate just fine so we are going to do it with my natural cycle. It can get a little tricky because this time around my cycle is not going to be controlled by medication so I will have to check everyday for when my LH Surge(ovulation)will happen. I have to get one of those ovulation test kits and test twice a day starting around 12-14 days after my period starts. The problem with this is that sometimes the tests can come back with false results and we can risk missing when I ovulate. Well I just will have to be on top of that.. Dr said that I just have to try to test on the second pee break of the day soo it's not soo concentrated...which can give false results. Hopefully if my period comes on time next month then I will start testing on the 14th. We may have to do whats called Assisted Hatching (Definition: Assisted hatching occurs in the lab prior to the embryo transfer. Before the embryo can implant in the uterine wall, it must break out of its membrane. In some women, particularly older women, this membrane is hardened, making it difficult for the embryo to hatch and implant. The technician will use a laser or a mild acid to thin the shell, enabling hatching.) this is done when embryos have been previously frozen too because freezing can harden the embryo shell.

My Tentative schedule is as follows:

2/4/12: expect menstrual cycle
2/14/12: start LH testing twice daily on cycle day 11 (between 10-2pm and 5-8pm)
2/16/12: ultrasound , pre-op
2/18/12: call office with LH Surge result
2/20/12: ultrasound 2 days after the LH Surge is detected
2/21/12: progesterone blood test 3 days after LH Surge is detected
2/22/12: take antibiotic pill
2/23/12: Embryo Transfer day!
3/5/12: pregnancy test.. Ahhh!


Well now I'm just waitin on my pesky period hopefully it will come as scheduled ;) ciao ciao for now! Aracely

**SIGH**

Hello Dear friends and family..im sad to have to report that my second pregnancy test was a big fat negative.. I actually started spotting the day after my test on the 24th..thanksgiving day..I got a heavier flow late that evening...and Friday was a full on heavy flow..I was soo sad..I called the fertility nurse on Friday because I was supposed to go in and get the second pregnancy test done that day. I told the nurse that my period had started and if i still needed to come in. She said yes and that I could wait until like Saturday to get it done. I went in on Saturday at my regular clinic's lab to get it done..the nurse specified for the lab to fax the results over right away and of course as always they did not..so I had to wait until Monday to get the results..Monday the nurse called me and confirmed..negative..my beta HCG levels had dropped down to 3..eck...well I guess at that point I sort of expected it..but a little part of me still held on to the hope of maybe I was shedding one embryo and the other one was taking a little longer to implant..and I could still be pregnant.. ahhh I was just kidding myself I know..oh well... big sigh to all of that..time to move on.

This past Thursday I got a call from my fertility Dr. it was very nice of her to call and check up on me..she wanted to tell me she was thinking of me and to say she was sorry that we didn't get pregnant and answer any questions I might have..I asked her if maybe I didn't absorb the Progesterone well enough to help maintain the pregnancy since i decided to switch to suppositories from the shots..they never tested my progesterone levels to check if I was absorbing or getting enough Progesterone..she told me that it was very unlikely that some clinics do test and some don't..that is isnt a standard practice in some clinics..I don't know she sounded very sure that it was unlikely that I wasn't getting enough progesterone...its was probably nature deciding that the embryos were not good enough to make babies...mostly they don't really know why some don't take. :( Oh and I asked her quickly about putting in the three frozen embryos and she of course strongly was against it..so we will see..we may only put in 2.

I'm doing okay now..was feeling depressed there for a while..it was really hard to suppress my tears and to hide my obvious disappointment and heart break...but feel like im okay now...I spoke to a counselor that the clinic offers...and she helped some....I am still sad about it and tear up on occasion especially when I allow myself to go back and think about it....but like my other two pregnancy losses I am learning to deal with it..I can work on trying to move on..I still think about them and get really sad..of course..because I think wow that could of been our two kids if they would of been normal pregnancies..we would have two kids by now...oh well....we have a couple more tries.. the third try, which will be for our single frozen embryo, will be with much financial sacrifice since we are only covered for one frozen embryo transfer if the fresh transfer didnt work. But well we will have to see..its too far out to even think about it now. I need to focus on my first Frozen Embryo Transfer..I made an appointment to see my Dr. again on January the 9th...so we can start preparations for it.. For the month of DEC I am just going to not worry about it and just enjoy my month off ;)..we are also going to speak to someone at some point about the adoption process...hopefully they can guide us on successfully adopting Domestically or Internationally..if we are not successful this second time around...till next time. Aracely

TWAS A VERY DISAPPOINTING DAY..

So I went in on Wednesday the 23rd early in the morning to have blood drawn for my pregnancy test and was soo relieved that the day was finally here..my stomach was in knots and was on my last nerve..but I didn't cheat before with an at home pregnancy test..I wanted to but thought why put myself through disappointment twice if it is negative..and I had waited soo long whats a couple of weeks. That day early afternoon I got the call from the nurse..finally..I was really heart broken to hear that I am possibly not pregnant. So my beta HCG levels, which is what the embryos give off once they've successfully implanted in the uterine wall, was 7 very very low...they consider an absolute negative when it is at 5 or below...;( ...she believes that it is a chemical pregnancy:

Definition 

A chemical pregnancy occurs when an embryo does not implant properly. The embryo produces enough HCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) to be detected on the beta HCG blood test and sensitive uterine pregnancy home tests, but because it does not develop normally, the pregnancy doe not occur.

Causes of a chemical pregnancy:

The commonest cause is a genetic abnormality in the embryo, and nature prevents this abnormal embryo from developing any further. Genetic abnormalities can be because of multiple factors, but most of them are random and unpredictable.

I was instructed to come in on Friday morning to test again to see which direction the levels are going..once they are below 5 then they can determine that the pregnancy will not occur. The nurse informed me that sometimes the levels start out low in a normal pregnancy but usually they see the levels at 20 or 30 to start not 7... I am on the lowest end... 

Whats next you say? Well we have one last chance at it..our IVF package covers one frozen embryo transfer...if the fresh IVF cycle was not successful...we have three frozen embryos that I am seriously considering having them all put in to increase our chances of at least one of them implanting successfully. Ideally I wanted those extra embryos for siblings but at this point I am hoping for at least one child to come out of this whole experience... I am not sure what my Dr. will say about putting all three in ..I am taking the chance for all three to implant..soo im very nervous about that... I don't know, at my age, if my body can handle being pregnant with triplets...that really scares me..I dont foresee us having the money to be able to transfer our last embryo that we will have left if I have only two put back...well decisions decisions..this is tough..for now I am going to worry about what is right in front of me..the 2nd pregnancy test on Friday...

EMBRYO TRANSFER

Ahh the day finally came...soo much work to get to this point...was excited...It was relatively painless just uncomfortable but painless..My mom and I were able to see the embryos in the dish through a microscope..pretty cool they were the two embryos that were 8cells each grades A & A- ...which are very good ..I was informed by the embryologist that out of the 31 eggs removed 16 were fertilized and only 5 were worthy of keeping..2 were put back into me and only 3 were frozen. Crazy! Incredible out of soo many eggs only 5 were good. That kinda made me sad..not sure why...

I am recovering nicely..not bad..I am feeling kinda beat up...exhausted..this whole process is soooo draining in every way! I am proud of myself that I endured through it and am here now at the end of the process...it was pretty rough no doubt. I am now only on Progesterone..if the embryos stick around it will help support the pregnancy...I gave up the shots because they were ridiculously painful..and opted for suppositories..a little messy but better for me...I don't have to depend on anyone anymore to administer the medicine...my mom is happy! lol...I am anxiously awaiting the day when we can confirm whether I am pregnant or not..Nov 23rd is the day...I have decided not to cheat before and avoid testing myself before the 23rd..it will be hard to stick to that..we shall she if I will do it or not...I am going to try to be patient and whatever the outcome will have to deal. 

Me ready in my hospital gown waiting for the nurse to come back..:)

 My mom all suited up ready to go..lol..

This video is not very good footage(sorry) but you can hear some of what is being said...the room was fairly dark so my Mom had trouble getting a good picture...on the ultrasound screen too its hard to see what is going on on there..... I was really close to it and barely was able to tell or see the catheter when it went up into my cervix or the tube that went in with the embryos and when the Dr. dropped them into my cervix.....darn! oh well!

This video is when we were all done..I was soo afraid of moving too much cause i was afraid that they would fall out...you can see when everyone laughs that's when I said it..lol...

HOW MANY EGGS??

Soo finally Egg Retrieval came and went and I survived! I am still in a bit of pain and walking slowly and it hurts if I move a lot or cough.. Today though I feel that the swelling has come down a bit..Omg I was soo nervous that morning... soo anticipating that day..everyone that was there to take care of me though were wonderful..soo attentive and nice. It really helped me to relax some.

 I checked in at 8:15 and was prepped ..I went in at 9:30am they walked me in to the "surgery" room and my first impression of the bed was of a torture device..it had a place for your arms to rest outstretched with cuffs that strapped your arms tight to them...the place where they put your legs looked very uncomfortable..it looked like your legs are propped up high and spread out...man! Well good thing that shortly after they laid me down they let go of the anesthesia and I just started to feel relaxed and dizzy..and whoop fell asleep quickly..soo didnt really get a chance to freak out...lol...

The procedure I understand took like 20 min..very quickly in an out..there were two other couples there too having an egg retrieval and a frozen embryo transfer so my doctor was busy that morning...the recovery/prep rooms were divided by curtains soo you can hear everything they said..I learned that the couple that had done IVF and were there for their retrieval only were able to produce 4 eggs...I felt sad that they only had 4 of them...but they still have a chance with four! I wish them the best and hope that they are successful :)...Me on the other hand had a crazy basket full of eggs! I had 31 eggs removed..wow! that is a lot I think that is why I feel soo sore and in pain still because since I had soo many they did a lot more poking around and soo my insides are really beat up...I really hope that I feel myself again come Saturday for my embryo transfer...Cause right now I cant handle any more poking around in there.

Yay finally got the call today from the embryologist and she informed me that we have 16 embryos! 11 fertilized normally by my hubby's sperm (good job little guys!) and 5 done with ICSI (Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI): A test-tube fertilization procedure in which a sperm is injected directly into an egg to achieve fertilization. ICSI is done for male infertility. Babies conceived by ICSI have no more major birth defects or delays in development than children conceived by natural means)...my doctor suggested this after my husband had a semen analysis during our preliminary testing and we discovered that he had borderline low motility (in other words Lazy Sperm) ..so my Dr. thought that we should have this available in case the sperm, at the time of egg retrieval, dont look like they will be able to fertilize the eggs...she wasn't too worried about the sperm fertilizing the eggs because I had already gotten pregnant twice..she felt that it could have been the reason why it took me soo long to get pregnant those two times.. she advised us to at least use it on some of the eggs..just in case...but lo and behold! they did their job after all! they fertilized 11 eggs!..Awesome! For me now its about taking it easy and recovering from the egg retrieval..I want to be ready and strong to welcome our little bundles into my womb on Sat.. ;) I will post again and let you know how the transfer went..ciao!