Wednesday, October 26, 2011
FLIPPIN OVARIES!?
Monday the 10th I went in for an ultrasound to get my cervix mapped out for the embryo transfer and to check the condition of my ovaries...all went well and was given the go ahead from my Dr. for the next phase which is the injectable medication....I feel relatively good..im mostly sleepy all the time and a bit fatigued...I have noticed that I am dreaming a lot...I dont usually dream and now Im having weird and detailed dreams everynight....weird.....I dont have the nausea anymore...yay(for now) ...only thing is my boobs are soo sore! ouch!...anyhow im glad to have things going along... :)
Soo my mom and I attended the Injection training on Monday the 10th it was interesting..it was outside of my comfort zone.... I actually had to get two (saline filled) practice shots...not expected...the butt one hurt a bit..like a sting...my mom gave me that one (she really did not want to give me the shot, she was sweatin and said "ahhh I really didnt want to poke you!" but she did it! lol) .. the one I have to give myself was nothing...didnt feel a thing..it was more the anticipation and nervousness that had been building up than what it actually really is once i gave it to myself..lol..but the anticipation and the idea of having to poke myself right then and there made me sweat a little nonetheless...hee hee...
I was hoping that I would still be able to be active while on the meds because I get really restless and axious if I dont at least walk for like 40min either outside or on the threadmill... but interestingly enough I learned something in injection class that will prevent me from being too active...the most I will be able to do is go for a slow walk in the mall or around the block...and the teacher still discouraged that..she said "you wont want to, believe me, you will really feel your ovaries with everystep"...oh boy!.....I will be restricted because your ovaries are twice the size they are normally and are heavier when on the medication and are at risk of flipping over...huh? never thought that was even possible..if they flip, it will cut off blood flow to the ovaries and I will then need to have emergency surgery to flip them back..I could potentially loose the ovary that flipped if they don't get to it in time...and its life threatening too I understand..ehk.....that is just a scary thought ...right?...women that develop large cysts are also at risk of their ovaries flipping that is why they must have the cysts removed before they get too big.....I tried to look this up online but I was surprised that there really isn't much info about "ovary flipping" online... well I only really googled it once.. I didn't really search any where else...cause I try to limit my reading online about stuff like this...I had a hard time reading my consent packet before signing...I had to though....I was pretty traumatized after that...its chock full of risks and complications and everything that can go wrong (which we all know we can't control) it makes me terribly nervous and I rather not get into it and just take it as I go day by day ..so anyways I will not be able to do much of anything in terms of exercising but in this case I will have to comply ;) I am trying to be all about relaxing and just trying to think about myself and not taking on too many things that may stress me out right now..what I do is try to nurture myself & sooth myself by eating comfort food, watching my favorite disney movies..and keeping my environment positive and happy and keeping my mind as busy as possible with other things..preferably positive thoughts..lol....i know sounds weird...especially for a 36 year old woman the disney movies part hee hee..I have fond memories of me and my sister watching two of our favorite ones..Bedknobs & Broomsticks and The Sword in the Stone...love those two...Im still a kid at heart..... everyone has their own way that they have to create to get through this process. :) My cats also help soothe me they are my personal de-stressers even before I started this process..they are soo loving ...I just tap my chest while lying in bed and one of them jumps on top and starts purring and snuggles with me..soo cute..yes I love cats! their purrs and love is soo relaxing! Cats are very soothing... lol....
Meet our kitties..the long haired Calico is Callie (aka sassy, noonie & chachi) ..the Linx Point Siamese is Molly (aka Noodles) ..and the Russian Blue looking one is Gizmo (aka Gizzy)
Here Noodles & Gizzy look like they were up to no good and got caught..lol
Here I had had a long day at work and was soo happy to be home I saw Gizzy and just grabbed him and snuggled him..and managed to take a picture of us before he wiggled free .. ;)
This is hilarious..I love to see when he drapes on the chair and just hangs there...he looks soo funny..he is our jokester and sometimes does things that have us laughing out loud...
Noodles was a feral cat before she came to us..we trapped her in a parking lot of a business building over by the Walmart when she was about 3 months old...we turned her around but she was still affected and her behaviors are a little crazy sometimes...I believe she will always be that way..soo she is our special kitty who needs extra love, care and understanding....she is still quite skittish but most of the time she is a loving and sweet cat.. when she isnt freaking out...this is her favorite spot to be in draped on my leg ;)
Here is our Sassy...goodness she is the princess cat..very attached to me ..she walks around sashaying(sp?) her tail around following me everywhere..love her..this is the spot I find her in most of the time..she is soo spoiled ;) She is the one that likes to snuggle a lot!
So I am finally off the pill! yay completed that part of the treatment on Sat 22nd..its a small victory I know but its all mine! And Im happy to not have to take them anymore... Now gotta get through the next phase....the injections!..ugh...I recorded a little video of me giving myself the Lupron injection...its been really easy now since I am on the 10th day of taking this medication...it wasnt really at first....thought I would loose it there a few times...I've gotten really good at giving it to myself...practice makes perfect!..I start on the Follicle stimulating meds on Friday the 28th and will be increasing my injections to three a day for about 10 days...ack...im nervous about the Follistim Pen...it intimidates me....it seems like a fairly complicated gadget that you dont want to use it wrong cause you will give yourself too much medication or not enough....why couldnt they just give me a regular needle! Those are easy! Anyways I will master it im sure ;)...I go in tomorrow Thursday to get a blood test and ultrasound done to check the progress..ta ta for now!
Soo my mom and I attended the Injection training on Monday the 10th it was interesting..it was outside of my comfort zone.... I actually had to get two (saline filled) practice shots...not expected...the butt one hurt a bit..like a sting...my mom gave me that one (she really did not want to give me the shot, she was sweatin and said "ahhh I really didnt want to poke you!" but she did it! lol) .. the one I have to give myself was nothing...didnt feel a thing..it was more the anticipation and nervousness that had been building up than what it actually really is once i gave it to myself..lol..but the anticipation and the idea of having to poke myself right then and there made me sweat a little nonetheless...hee hee...
I was hoping that I would still be able to be active while on the meds because I get really restless and axious if I dont at least walk for like 40min either outside or on the threadmill... but interestingly enough I learned something in injection class that will prevent me from being too active...the most I will be able to do is go for a slow walk in the mall or around the block...and the teacher still discouraged that..she said "you wont want to, believe me, you will really feel your ovaries with everystep"...oh boy!.....I will be restricted because your ovaries are twice the size they are normally and are heavier when on the medication and are at risk of flipping over...huh? never thought that was even possible..if they flip, it will cut off blood flow to the ovaries and I will then need to have emergency surgery to flip them back..I could potentially loose the ovary that flipped if they don't get to it in time...and its life threatening too I understand..ehk.....that is just a scary thought ...right?...women that develop large cysts are also at risk of their ovaries flipping that is why they must have the cysts removed before they get too big.....I tried to look this up online but I was surprised that there really isn't much info about "ovary flipping" online... well I only really googled it once.. I didn't really search any where else...cause I try to limit my reading online about stuff like this...I had a hard time reading my consent packet before signing...I had to though....I was pretty traumatized after that...its chock full of risks and complications and everything that can go wrong (which we all know we can't control) it makes me terribly nervous and I rather not get into it and just take it as I go day by day ..so anyways I will not be able to do much of anything in terms of exercising but in this case I will have to comply ;) I am trying to be all about relaxing and just trying to think about myself and not taking on too many things that may stress me out right now..what I do is try to nurture myself & sooth myself by eating comfort food, watching my favorite disney movies..and keeping my environment positive and happy and keeping my mind as busy as possible with other things..preferably positive thoughts..lol....i know sounds weird...especially for a 36 year old woman the disney movies part hee hee..I have fond memories of me and my sister watching two of our favorite ones..Bedknobs & Broomsticks and The Sword in the Stone...love those two...Im still a kid at heart..... everyone has their own way that they have to create to get through this process. :) My cats also help soothe me they are my personal de-stressers even before I started this process..they are soo loving ...I just tap my chest while lying in bed and one of them jumps on top and starts purring and snuggles with me..soo cute..yes I love cats! their purrs and love is soo relaxing! Cats are very soothing... lol....
Meet our kitties..the long haired Calico is Callie (aka sassy, noonie & chachi) ..the Linx Point Siamese is Molly (aka Noodles) ..and the Russian Blue looking one is Gizmo (aka Gizzy)
Here Noodles & Gizzy look like they were up to no good and got caught..lol
So I am finally off the pill! yay completed that part of the treatment on Sat 22nd..its a small victory I know but its all mine! And Im happy to not have to take them anymore... Now gotta get through the next phase....the injections!..ugh...I recorded a little video of me giving myself the Lupron injection...its been really easy now since I am on the 10th day of taking this medication...it wasnt really at first....thought I would loose it there a few times...I've gotten really good at giving it to myself...practice makes perfect!..I start on the Follicle stimulating meds on Friday the 28th and will be increasing my injections to three a day for about 10 days...ack...im nervous about the Follistim Pen...it intimidates me....it seems like a fairly complicated gadget that you dont want to use it wrong cause you will give yourself too much medication or not enough....why couldnt they just give me a regular needle! Those are easy! Anyways I will master it im sure ;)...I go in tomorrow Thursday to get a blood test and ultrasound done to check the progress..ta ta for now!
Friday, October 7, 2011
ITS SHOW TIME!
ahhh soo I finally got my period..wow it was late! I got it on Sat Oct 1st...its weird because I felt such a happiness and relief when I finally saw signs of it..never felt like that about my period before..lol ...I started on the pill on Monday and it was a bit rough symptom wise until like Thursday I didn't really feel the nausea or the shakiness too much anymore after that day...the first few days I felt gross, today I felt like I lacked good circulation in my legs but its gone now.. don't know if its associated with taking the pill..but being a big hypocondriact (sp?)..I tend to imagine some of what im feeling....anyways *rolling my eyes at myself*.. I have never in my life taken any sort of birth control medication so I was worried about how I would react...I think my body is sort of used to it now.. maybe.....
I have found that, even before I started taking the pill, drinking the water of young coconuts seems to soothe my tummy...and I feel nourished at the same time...I love it and the meat is soo delicious too with chili, lime & salt...ahhh delicious...yeah the chili, lime and salt do not soothe the stomach but its soo good ;)... I buy 2 or 3 coconuts to drink/eat each Friday after work at one of the local Asian markets as a treat to myself...I wish I could have one everyday but i'd have to buy a lot and they are almost 2 dollars each..and they dont keep for past a day...so I am good with doing it every Friday ;)...thanks to my cousin Belen for the introduction to these delicious and nourshing coconuts <3
This week I finally got my IVF schedule to follow..of course they hadnt given it to me since we were waiting for my darn period to start before they can give me actual dates to follow..this is what it will look like for the next two months or so:
10/01/11 - Period Start
10/03/11 - Cycle day three, start on Birth Control
10/10/11 - Sign IVF consents, Baseline Ultrasound (ack! that wonderful transvaginal ultrasound) w/Catheter check
10/10/11 - Injection training at 5pm that day
10/17/11 - Start on the Lupron medication 10 units between 7-9pm
10/22/11 - Last day of Birth control pill
10/25/11 - Expect period, very little bleeding or none at all is expected
10/27/11 - Pre-Stimulation ultrasound and blood test.
10/28/11 - Need to reduce Lupron to 5 units between 7-9 pm
10/28/11 - Start on the Follistim 225 units + One vial of Menopur in the evening 7-9pm
*The following dates are only estimates. Scheduling will vary based on my follicular growth..
11/06/11 - HCG injection. Need to stop Lupron, Follistim & Menopur, when instructed, take HCG "trigger" injection at exact time directed.
11/08/11 - Egg Retrieval..(eek! yes very nervous about this procedure..I dont like to undergo "surgical like" procedures..shivers...but I guess who does! lol )
11/09/11 - Start on the Progesterone 1ml every evening
11/??/11 - Embryo Transfer..(double eek! very important day.. our fertilized eggs will be going back in the womb as embryos ready to grow into little babies <3 )
11/??/11 - Post retrieval visit
11/??/11 - Blood test to confirm pregnancy (ahh looking soo forward to this day! Praying its a positive!)
Seems like I am going to be on a tight schedule for the next month or so...im already really tired just reading it ...This coming Monday my Mom, Husband and I will be going to the injection training...this should be interesting..lol..im sure we will get good laughs out of that..cause that is how we roll...hee hee..soo right now I am just trying to take it easy, eating well, trying to remember to take my prenatal vitamins (cause those horse pills are not easy to take..for me anyway :D ), sleeping good and trying to get my exercise in (walking for 40 min or so everyday at least)..helps clear my mind and I feel relaxed when I go for a walk...I am trying to not think of what's to come and take it day to day..cause I will drive myself crazy and end up a nervous wreck...I know If I dont keep somewhat busy I will give way to my tendency to worry about all of the "what ifs"... I know I cannot control anything good or bad that's to come so I need to take it one day at a time...for sanity's sake..pray all goes well...ok well im feeling a bit tired and nauseous right now..so I am going to go lie down... ta ta for now! Aracely
I have found that, even before I started taking the pill, drinking the water of young coconuts seems to soothe my tummy...and I feel nourished at the same time...I love it and the meat is soo delicious too with chili, lime & salt...ahhh delicious...yeah the chili, lime and salt do not soothe the stomach but its soo good ;)... I buy 2 or 3 coconuts to drink/eat each Friday after work at one of the local Asian markets as a treat to myself...I wish I could have one everyday but i'd have to buy a lot and they are almost 2 dollars each..and they dont keep for past a day...so I am good with doing it every Friday ;)...thanks to my cousin Belen for the introduction to these delicious and nourshing coconuts <3
This week I finally got my IVF schedule to follow..of course they hadnt given it to me since we were waiting for my darn period to start before they can give me actual dates to follow..this is what it will look like for the next two months or so:
10/01/11 - Period Start
10/03/11 - Cycle day three, start on Birth Control
10/10/11 - Sign IVF consents, Baseline Ultrasound (ack! that wonderful transvaginal ultrasound) w/Catheter check
10/10/11 - Injection training at 5pm that day
10/17/11 - Start on the Lupron medication 10 units between 7-9pm
10/22/11 - Last day of Birth control pill
10/25/11 - Expect period, very little bleeding or none at all is expected
10/27/11 - Pre-Stimulation ultrasound and blood test.
10/28/11 - Need to reduce Lupron to 5 units between 7-9 pm
10/28/11 - Start on the Follistim 225 units + One vial of Menopur in the evening 7-9pm
*The following dates are only estimates. Scheduling will vary based on my follicular growth..
11/06/11 - HCG injection. Need to stop Lupron, Follistim & Menopur, when instructed, take HCG "trigger" injection at exact time directed.
11/08/11 - Egg Retrieval..(eek! yes very nervous about this procedure..I dont like to undergo "surgical like" procedures..shivers...but I guess who does! lol )
11/09/11 - Start on the Progesterone 1ml every evening
11/??/11 - Embryo Transfer..(double eek! very important day.. our fertilized eggs will be going back in the womb as embryos ready to grow into little babies <3 )
11/??/11 - Post retrieval visit
11/??/11 - Blood test to confirm pregnancy (ahh looking soo forward to this day! Praying its a positive!)
Seems like I am going to be on a tight schedule for the next month or so...im already really tired just reading it ...This coming Monday my Mom, Husband and I will be going to the injection training...this should be interesting..lol..im sure we will get good laughs out of that..cause that is how we roll...hee hee..soo right now I am just trying to take it easy, eating well, trying to remember to take my prenatal vitamins (cause those horse pills are not easy to take..for me anyway :D ), sleeping good and trying to get my exercise in (walking for 40 min or so everyday at least)..helps clear my mind and I feel relaxed when I go for a walk...I am trying to not think of what's to come and take it day to day..cause I will drive myself crazy and end up a nervous wreck...I know If I dont keep somewhat busy I will give way to my tendency to worry about all of the "what ifs"... I know I cannot control anything good or bad that's to come so I need to take it one day at a time...for sanity's sake..pray all goes well...ok well im feeling a bit tired and nauseous right now..so I am going to go lie down... ta ta for now! Aracely
Saturday, September 17, 2011
WOW THAT'S A LOT OF NEEDLES!
Hi all finally made myself sit down on our hm computer long enough to update my blog...I sit all day in front of the computer at work its really hard to get motivated to get on it once I'm home :(...
So Saturday the 3rd I got all of my meds in the mail... All $3K+ worth of them...normally one would shop around to try to get better prices from different pharmacies and you really do save ...and I know I could of gotten them cheaper...(note*: you don't want to go too cheap..cause the quality of the meds becomes questionable..and you don't want to wonder if the IVF procedure didn't work because of bad meds.. you have to think, of course for your safety first, then you are putting a lot of money towards this process..so you wanna go with reputable IVF clinics, pharmacies and have the best quality products so you don't have to wonder)...well in our case we were not able to buy the meds on our own (even though I shopped around they were still too high to pay for them ourselves) and had to add the cost of the meds to the financing.. so the finance ppl picked out the pharmacy... that brought the financed total to around $16K..for the IVF procedure and the meds.... wow IVF is expensive no doubt and that doesn't include all the preliminary testing that both my husband and I had to get...anyways that weekend I got the meds, we had my sister visiting and her delicious triplet boys...ahhh they are soo adorable words cannot describe! I am a proud Auntie :)...just had to add that in ;).., and I hadn't had the time to check out all the stuff... I opened the box immediately that day of course because I knew that some meds you have to refrigerate right away...I went back to the box several days later and was freaked out by all the meds & needles! ack! ..(For those of you who do not know me well I am notorious for freakin out a lot..lol ).....I thought how funny & ironic that I have always tried my best to avoid needles cause I am such a chicken when it comes to them and now I have an abundance of needles I will have to use and possibly have to give myself the injections....ahhhh crazy! Ok enough about the needles already!
Just for fun :) I listed my prescription below..and also listed what it will be used for and the cost of each..
>Leuprolide Acetate: (need one 2 week kit, its one vial and 14 syringes) cost: $129 ea
>Follistim AQ Cartridge: (need one 300IU) cost: $277.98ea (need two 900IU) cost: $834.97ea (this medicine comes with a fancy pen where you just dial your dose and give yourself the medicine..like an epi pen)
>Menopur: (need 10) cost: $72.98ea
>HCG: (need 1) cost: $79.98ea
>Progesterone: (need 2) cost: $39.87ea
<Syringes: (60 total) cost: $.29ea (yeah couldn't they have thrown these in for free?)
What they will be used for:
*BIRTH CONTROL PILL: of course we know what this one does ;)
*LEUPROLIDE ACETATE: Supression of the Petuitary to prevent ovulation
*FOLLISTIM AQ: Help ovaries to develop more mature eggs
*MENOPUR: Stimulates ovaries to grow mature follicles(eggs) (I believe this will be used in conjunction with the Follistim)
*HCG: This is called the "trigger", it helps complete the maturing of the eggs when its time to collect them in the egg retrieval.
*PROGESTERONE IN SESAME OIL: Supports implantation of the embryo, helps maintain a pregnancy.
Okay so I'm still waiting for my period..ugh! Funny for the past 7 years every month I found myself running to the bathroom hoping that my period wouldn't come ha ha and this month its the opposite..thanks Jonalyn for pointing that out...lol funny :)... My PMS symptoms are more intense than ever this month..maybe cause im getting old and my cycles are changing? .don't know why...maybe my anxiety is high cause I'm stressing over it not coming..I have been feeling discomfort in my abdomen that is familiar from when I had my first ectopic pregnancy.....not as intense as then ...but ugh oh God please not another ectopic pregnancy!..It also could just be my digestive system when its out of whack the symptoms are very similar to what It felt with the ruptured ectopic without the bleeding and intense abdominal pain...I'm freakin out a bit cause its still possible since I still have a long enough piece of my right tube left in there...I checked to see if I was pregnant.. I had one more pregnancy test left from the bulk purchase I made from a Canadian store online http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/ that my OBGYN recommended... they have good prices on TTC (trying to conceive) products...pregnancy tests that are like $.50cents each...its crazy how much one stinking pregnancy test costs at the stores here or an ovulation kit...I still used the pregnancy test anyway that I had left, which expired Jan 2011.....hmm can it still be good even though it expired 9 months ago? hmm maybe not maybe yes...but it was nicely sealed?....it showed I wasn't pregnant ..so I doubt im pregnant ..and in regards to it being an ectopic pregnancy I also doubt it cause I don't have the bleeding or intense abdominal pain..... but we still shall see ..its not over till my "normal" aunt flo comes to visit ;)
As we get closer to actually starting the process I am feeling increasingly scared and nervous...there are soo many things that we need to decide on and many scary possible risks that we were informed about and made aware of....one thing we are really struggling with is what to do with our left over embryos... Say we are successful the first time and we have a baby or two..I know that we will want to use two more to get pregnant again to complete our family...and if we are successful then again...whichever ones are left we have to decide to either destroy them, donate them to research or give them up for adoption... hmm hard decision..to destroy them hurts because its a potential baby that I am destroying and I will/had gone through soo much trying to create these precious potential beings I just don't know if I could do it...same feeling to donate to research..not sure about that either...and as for adopting them out I feel like I would always wonder and be tormented of the possibility of one of our children being out there not knowing how they are doing...hmm...my sister sent me a link to a couple's blog who they successfully gave birth to a baby boy with an adopted embryo I assume that since it was an open adoption the donors of the embryo(s) are able to keep in touch and know how the baby is doing/growing...I didn't know that an open adoption would be an option with embryo adoption...that is probably the only way I/we could possibly consider donating our embryo(s) for adoption...I think I personally would need to know whether any of the embryos became babies...and who had them and how they were growing/doing. I don't think I could just give them up and forget about them. Well enough rambling on for today :) lots to think about.. Till next time, Aracely
So Saturday the 3rd I got all of my meds in the mail... All $3K+ worth of them...normally one would shop around to try to get better prices from different pharmacies and you really do save ...and I know I could of gotten them cheaper...(note*: you don't want to go too cheap..cause the quality of the meds becomes questionable..and you don't want to wonder if the IVF procedure didn't work because of bad meds.. you have to think, of course for your safety first, then you are putting a lot of money towards this process..so you wanna go with reputable IVF clinics, pharmacies and have the best quality products so you don't have to wonder)...well in our case we were not able to buy the meds on our own (even though I shopped around they were still too high to pay for them ourselves) and had to add the cost of the meds to the financing.. so the finance ppl picked out the pharmacy... that brought the financed total to around $16K..for the IVF procedure and the meds.... wow IVF is expensive no doubt and that doesn't include all the preliminary testing that both my husband and I had to get...anyways that weekend I got the meds, we had my sister visiting and her delicious triplet boys...ahhh they are soo adorable words cannot describe! I am a proud Auntie :)...just had to add that in ;).., and I hadn't had the time to check out all the stuff... I opened the box immediately that day of course because I knew that some meds you have to refrigerate right away...I went back to the box several days later and was freaked out by all the meds & needles! ack! ..(For those of you who do not know me well I am notorious for freakin out a lot..lol ).....I thought how funny & ironic that I have always tried my best to avoid needles cause I am such a chicken when it comes to them and now I have an abundance of needles I will have to use and possibly have to give myself the injections....ahhhh crazy! Ok enough about the needles already!
Just for fun :) I listed my prescription below..and also listed what it will be used for and the cost of each..
>Leuprolide Acetate: (need one 2 week kit, its one vial and 14 syringes) cost: $129 ea
>Follistim AQ Cartridge: (need one 300IU) cost: $277.98ea (need two 900IU) cost: $834.97ea (this medicine comes with a fancy pen where you just dial your dose and give yourself the medicine..like an epi pen)
>Menopur: (need 10) cost: $72.98ea
>HCG: (need 1) cost: $79.98ea
>Progesterone: (need 2) cost: $39.87ea
<Syringes: (60 total) cost: $.29ea (yeah couldn't they have thrown these in for free?)
What they will be used for:
*BIRTH CONTROL PILL: of course we know what this one does ;)
*LEUPROLIDE ACETATE: Supression of the Petuitary to prevent ovulation
*FOLLISTIM AQ: Help ovaries to develop more mature eggs
*MENOPUR: Stimulates ovaries to grow mature follicles(eggs) (I believe this will be used in conjunction with the Follistim)
*HCG: This is called the "trigger", it helps complete the maturing of the eggs when its time to collect them in the egg retrieval.
*PROGESTERONE IN SESAME OIL: Supports implantation of the embryo, helps maintain a pregnancy.
Okay so I'm still waiting for my period..ugh! Funny for the past 7 years every month I found myself running to the bathroom hoping that my period wouldn't come ha ha and this month its the opposite..thanks Jonalyn for pointing that out...lol funny :)... My PMS symptoms are more intense than ever this month..maybe cause im getting old and my cycles are changing? .don't know why...maybe my anxiety is high cause I'm stressing over it not coming..I have been feeling discomfort in my abdomen that is familiar from when I had my first ectopic pregnancy.....not as intense as then ...but ugh oh God please not another ectopic pregnancy!..It also could just be my digestive system when its out of whack the symptoms are very similar to what It felt with the ruptured ectopic without the bleeding and intense abdominal pain...I'm freakin out a bit cause its still possible since I still have a long enough piece of my right tube left in there...I checked to see if I was pregnant.. I had one more pregnancy test left from the bulk purchase I made from a Canadian store online http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/ that my OBGYN recommended... they have good prices on TTC (trying to conceive) products...pregnancy tests that are like $.50cents each...its crazy how much one stinking pregnancy test costs at the stores here or an ovulation kit...I still used the pregnancy test anyway that I had left, which expired Jan 2011.....hmm can it still be good even though it expired 9 months ago? hmm maybe not maybe yes...but it was nicely sealed?....it showed I wasn't pregnant ..so I doubt im pregnant ..and in regards to it being an ectopic pregnancy I also doubt it cause I don't have the bleeding or intense abdominal pain..... but we still shall see ..its not over till my "normal" aunt flo comes to visit ;)
As we get closer to actually starting the process I am feeling increasingly scared and nervous...there are soo many things that we need to decide on and many scary possible risks that we were informed about and made aware of....one thing we are really struggling with is what to do with our left over embryos... Say we are successful the first time and we have a baby or two..I know that we will want to use two more to get pregnant again to complete our family...and if we are successful then again...whichever ones are left we have to decide to either destroy them, donate them to research or give them up for adoption... hmm hard decision..to destroy them hurts because its a potential baby that I am destroying and I will/had gone through soo much trying to create these precious potential beings I just don't know if I could do it...same feeling to donate to research..not sure about that either...and as for adopting them out I feel like I would always wonder and be tormented of the possibility of one of our children being out there not knowing how they are doing...hmm...my sister sent me a link to a couple's blog who they successfully gave birth to a baby boy with an adopted embryo I assume that since it was an open adoption the donors of the embryo(s) are able to keep in touch and know how the baby is doing/growing...I didn't know that an open adoption would be an option with embryo adoption...that is probably the only way I/we could possibly consider donating our embryo(s) for adoption...I think I personally would need to know whether any of the embryos became babies...and who had them and how they were growing/doing. I don't think I could just give them up and forget about them. Well enough rambling on for today :) lots to think about.. Till next time, Aracely
Thursday, August 18, 2011
OH MAN...WE ARE A GO...
So today we found out that we got the financing for IVF ..I just got the contract emailed to me and will be signing and making it official...Im trying to feel excited and happy right now, but I mostly find that I am concerned, worried, fearful and nervous...*sigh* IVF will possibly bring us the family we have been longing for and have been waiting for 7 years now...I suppose its normal, I was mentally & emotionally in another place back when we first started this baby making journey 7 years ago...I felt whole, strong and full of optimism...now after 7 years of soo much disappointment, I feel it has slowly chipped that wholeness, strength and optimism away..if that makes any sense....soo now I feel more fragile emotionally & mentally....I certainly didnt think that I would have to face such a difficult process just to have a Baby ...and expensive at that.. even before its conceived!... :( I am thankful though that we do at least have this option that we can try...and this financing has officially made it a reality and a possibility :).. I hope to find my strength & optimism again...and get through this one day at a time...I know I will have the support of my close friends and family which is very encouraging...Love you guys! I will need you soo much more than ever!
Now we are just waiting for my next cycle to start, which is around the 14th or so of Sept. I will then start taking birth control pills and I am going to be on them for about 3 weeks. Within that time I have a couple tests that need to be scheduled and we need to go in to get injection training...I am hoping that I dont have to give them to myself and either my mom or my husband can do them...but I still need to know how to do it just in case...I found out that most of the needles that I will be using are only about 1/2 inch long..not bad....the longest one I will need to use is 1 1/2 inches long..that one needs to be given on my bum...lol....and someone has to give it to me cause I wont be able to do it myself...well again now its just waiting for my period to come and we can start the process. Aracely
TEST RESULTS ARE IN...
So we went in to review the results of all the tests with my fertility Dr. and all came back good...only two things that they found was my glucose test was slightly above normal 101 it should be below 100..so now I have to get a fasting 2hr glucose test ..which is just drawing blood once, drinking a sugary drink, then two hours later drawing blood again. The dr says its necessary in order to know exactly how well my body processes sugar because it can cause a list of problems such as miscarriage..higher risk of developing genstational diabetes etc...eek! Another thing they found was my good cholesterol is slightly low and can be improved with regular excercise.. :( I know I really need to do that more often! This one will fortunately not affect the process its just something that I should really improve for good overall health. Aracely
Thursday, July 28, 2011
TESTING PHASE OVER...
So we finally got the testing phase over . I can stop fretting over what they are going to be doing to me next..I guess for now hee hee... I have had numerous tests done..mostly blood work..since there were soo many blood tests that needed to be done I had soo much blood drawn at once that I almost passed out..eek! that was not a good day...ugh!.....This past Monday I got an SHG (Sonohysterogram) test done..they use a catheter and put a saline solution into your cervix while using an ultrasound machine to check the cervix's condition.. they determine if my cervix is nice and clean w/out any things that may prevent implantation of the embryo ...suprisingly it wasnt as painful as the HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) for me that one was very painful. :(......anyhow glad to report that my cervix as the Dr. , that was performing the test, stated was "beautiful"..lol. ..that is wonderful news cause after all this is where I will be carrying my baby(ies) :)...we now have to meet with the Fertility Dr. to go over the test results and find out what IVF treatment is best for my case. We will be meeting with her on August 9th ..ahhh Im anxious, but when am I not now adays, I want to get this process going! Well until next time! CIAO!
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